


Quiet Cacophony

by yami0204



Category: Kamen Rider Kiva
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-30 02:31:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19032952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yami0204/pseuds/yami0204
Summary: A quiet heart can still the noise of the mind.





	1. Chapter 1

He watched silently, awed by the young man he was with. With little effort, they had become close and now they spent much of their time together. He had missed out on the warmth of friendship for so long, his anxiety and depression crushing him whenever the flicker of the thought of friendship entered his mind. Now, he was enjoying the glow of friendship and finding that the dark, intrusive thoughts that had weighed so heavily on him all these years were a lie. He finally saw through the lie.

The music around them vibrated the floor, pulsing as it thrashed against the thin walls of the apartment they inhabited together. He had never given thought to spending time with a friend at their home, but now he was doing it more frequently and the joy of it filled his soul. He didn’t mind that the music was loud. He didn’t mind that his friend was loud. He didn’t mind any of it, which felt so new and important to him.

The energy that his friend exuded was vibrant and lively. The smile his friend wore was brilliant, like sunlight piercing through the sky after a storm. While his friend was animated and jovial, he sat there soaking in the light he was being bathed in. He hadn’t known this kind of light before, but now he craved it endlessly. Cracks now formed in the blackened glass dome he had hidden himself in as the friends he'd recently gained slowly shattered that casing to reveal him to the world. The world seemed bright to him for the first time in his life, and he delighted in this knowledge despite how the dark corners of his mind continued to leak their negativity, though its pall was not so thick as it had been even months before. Slowly but surely he was seeing the world with eyes anew and that was enough to give him the confidence to beat back the darkness, even if it was just for a little while.

 “Hey, Wataru,” his friend asked, turning off the stereo system that had been blasting heavy metal at its highest volume. “You gettin’ hungry?”

Wataru shook his head. This whole time he had been sitting on the floor of the small apartment, watching as his friend did some impromptu dancing and head-banging to the music while screaming the lyrics. Wataru liked the music, but he liked his friend more.

His friend grinned and joined Wataru on the floor, “Then why are ya so quiet?”

“I was just appreciating it all,” Wataru replied. A tiny smile tugged at the ends of his lips as he looked down at his socked feet. “I like watching you. You always look like you’re having a lot of fun, Kengo-san.”

Kengo laughed, shaking his head. “C’mon, Wataru, you don’t need to keep calling me ‘Kengo-san.’ We’re friends, right? Just Kengo’s fine!”

Wataru gave a small nod, “Okay, Kengo–” The “s” for “-san” clung to his mouth before it abruptly cut off.

Kengo laughed again and placed a hand on Wataru’s head, patting it gently, “That’s the way!”

A small blush found its way to Wataru’s cheeks and he mumbled quietly, “Thanks...”

Kengo’s hand stayed on Wataru’s head for a moment longer, strands of copper hair poking between his fingers. Eventually, the hand slipped away and Kengo dipped his face down to look up at Wataru’s, grinning, “You don’t gotta act so shy around me, either, ya know.” His voice was gentle, though a roughness clung to it from his prior screaming over the loud music they listened to. “We’re buds now. You can be free and loose around me!”

A nod was Wataru’s silent response, but it was paired with a delicate smile that curved pleasingly against his full lips as the little mole at the crease of his mouth moved upward slightly. Kengo liked Wataru’s moles. The young man had various moles dotted here and there on his face, each of them adding character to Wataru that made him quite handsome. He remembered their friend Megumi mentioning that Wataru was cute despite how awkward he was, and Kengo had to agree with that assessment. Wataru was cute in a way that he wasn’t. Kengo always looked rough around the edges, and his love of rock music and punk fashion meant that he was always viewed as dangerous when he wasn’t dangerous at all. Despite Wataru’s naivety, he immediately sensed the kindness in Kengo. It’s what made their friendship so smooth. Kengo could tell that Wataru was someone who needed kindness in his life, and Wataru was drawn to Kengo’s kindness effortlessly. The music Kengo played may have sounded like noise to everyone else in the world, but to Wataru that music held kindness and passion and joy. Even with being introduced to other bands in other rock genres, Wataru’s ears held the most love for the music that Kengo played because it was music filled with raw kindness.

Silence had filled the small space between them, Kengo’s gentle smile sending warmth into Wataru and clearing away the dark clouds that were starting to gather in his heart again. Kengo watched Wataru, his smile mirroring the delicate and gentle one that Wataru wore. He thought again about how Megumi had told him that Wataru was cute, and the word cute fluttered by for a second before he blinked the word away. He slowly pulled his gaze up and glanced at the ceiling in his small, dingy apartment as the words “Wataru looks cute” traveled through his mind again. He shook his head to make the thought go away for good and drew himself close to his friend, pulling him into a gentle hug.

Wataru made a small, surprised noise, taking the hug well. Kengo felt as warm as his smile, which made him happy to know. He liked that warm smile, and now he liked the warmth of Kengo's body against his own. He liked Kengo’s scent, too, which was of old leather and whatever fragrant soap he used. To most that was likely a foul combination, but Wataru loved that smell. He wrapped his arms around Kengo’s waist and buried his face into his friend’s shoulder. It was rare for anyone to hug Wataru, and he hadn’t realized how much he craved such a gentle touch.

They stayed like that for a long moment, Kengo happily surprised that they were hugging at all while Wataru soaked it in like a sponge. Wataru was the one to break their embrace, his face lowered in embarrassment as he muttered a faint apology. He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for, but he felt like it was something he needed to say.

“What are ya sorry for?” Kengo asked, that gentle smile still tacked sweetly onto his mouth.

Wataru shook his head, “I don’t know.”

Kengo’s smile widened and he let out a light laugh, “I think that means we need to hug more often. Hugs are nice, aren’t they?”

A short nod was Wataru’s response, and it was paired by a brighter smile that pushed against the ends of his mouth. His round cheeks were still dusted pink, and he didn’t understand why he was so embarrassed or why he was blushing so much.

“C’mon,” Kengo said, standing up. “Let’s go get something to eat. There’s a ramen stand down the road that’s got the rockin’-est ramen around!”

“Really?” Wataru asked, his head finally lifting to meet Kengo’s gaze. It was only now that he noticed that Kengo’s face also carried the faint redness of a blush. A kind of solace fell over him with this knowledge and he followed Kengo’s lead, standing onto his feet. “We can go there, then.”

“Great! It’ll be my treat!” There was loud laughter from Kengo, but a strange thought floated by as he laughed. He buried the thought quickly, not wanting to give it the attention it wanted, but the thought shocked him despite how much he hid that fact.

The thought was simply this: _I think I like Wataru more than as a friend_.

The pair of them donned their shoes and headed out into the fading summer sunlight. They would eat ramen together, chat about nothing in particular, and part ways when they were finished.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I determined that this needed another chapter, so I wrote a second chapter really fast.

After Megumi and Nago’s wedding and the chaos that followed directly after it, life started to slow into a manageable pace. Wataru continued his life as a luthier while occasionally performing violin for those who knew of his talents. He was still a bit nervous at gatherings where he didn’t know anyone, but he found that the more he did such engagements, the less nervous he became. Kengo, who had injured his hand which ended his ability to play guitar, found other uses for his talents and knowledge now that his initial anger had subsided. Through all of this, they both managed to find time to spend with one another. Kengo would oftentimes be seen as a fixture in Wataru’s home, the pair engaging in deep appreciation for music. For every new rock band that Kengo introduced to Wataru, Wataru would introduce Kengo to a new classical composer and they would spend hours together, consumed in the enjoyment of music. They thrived in that peace together.

This evening in early fall was like many others in that respect. They sat together on Wataru’s bed, listening to a CD of Bach’s sonatas for solo violin. Wataru was unknowingly humming along to the tunes as Kengo relaxed with his back against the mattress, staring up at the ceiling. Quietly, he delighted in Wataru’s humming. He was fully aware that Wataru could sing beautifully, and he delighted in the delicate sound coming from the luthier. He moved his vision from the ceiling to settle at Wataru’s back, taking in the young man’s thin frame. When they had first met, Wataru had little confidence in himself or his abilities, but now he was so much stronger and so much braver. He had even cut his hair shorter and dyed his hair a slightly brighter color, no longer hiding behind his long fringe or seeking to blend into the background with his old, dull shade. His hair had looked like a tarnished copper chalice, uninteresting and unwanted, but now that it had been shined and polished, it now understood its own value in the world.

“I like your hair,” he said lazily. “I meant to tell you that before, but I didn’t.”

Wataru’s humming stopped, the music still playing sweetly without his accompaniment. “My hair?” He turned and looked at his friend, a bit confused. He lifted a hand to his hair, fingers playing with a few strands idly.

“Yeah,” Kengo insisted, pushing himself up onto his elbows to get a better look at his friend. “It’s nice.”

“Thanks,” Wataru replied shyly, pulling his hand away from his hand to rest it in his lap. “I was hiding behind my hair before, I think,” he spoke quietly, his voice so faint that Kengo had to lift himself up into a proper sitting position to hear him at all.

“You had a lot going on back then,” Kengo mused, resting his elbows on his knees now that he was no longer lying on the bed, “but I never thought you were hiding. You were there for people to find if they knew where to look.”

Wataru blinked his attention to meet Kengo’s eyes, “But we found each other, didn’t we?”

“Well, yeah,” Kengo laughed lightly. “We couldn’t be friends if we didn’t meet. We just happened to find each other at the same time.”

In the background, Bach’s partita for solo violin no. 2 played lightly, gliding by as they spoke. “Yeah, we did,” Wataru agreed with a faint laugh. “Thank you, by the way.”

Kengo turned his attention to his friend, looking a bit confused, “For what?”

“For your friendship,” he smiled, keeping his gaze gentle on his friend. “For a lot of things, really, but mainly for being so kind to me. I like you a lot and I like being with you a lot.”

That last sentence clanged heavily against Kengo’s heart. For well over a year now, he had buried a simple thought that had once echoed in his chest effortlessly, and now it had awakened again. However, this time it was given time to speak clearly to him: _I think I like Wataru more than as a friend_. He let free a nervous laugh from his lips now that the thought had been released again, but he let it hang there in his mind. “I like you, too,” he said and hoped that Wataru was cued into the fondness that clung so neatly to his words.

Wataru laughed a little more solidly this time and Kengo realized that he loved hearing him laugh. “And, um... I meant to tell you this a while ago, too, but... I like your hair, too. It looks good short like that. I’m glad you kept it so short. It makes you look cool.”

“Thanks,” was Kengo’s simple reply, but it hid that the words made him swell with joy. He wanted to say more than just a simple thanks, but he wasn’t sure what more he could say. Instead, he smiled and pulled Wataru into a hug. It was something he had been doing more often, and Wataru adored it. The luthier finally knew what comfort felt like, and he adored how gentle such a simple gesture could be. Wataru rested his head against Kengo’s shoulder, enjoying the warmth he was being given. He quite liked it and he was sure that Kengo knew this, which was why he did it so often.

The luthier had an odd mixture of scents that Kengo had grown accustomed to. The space they currently occupied smelled heavily of wood and varnish and dust. Wataru’s home was likely beautiful in the past, but now was mostly left in disrepair and shrouded on the outside by overgrowth and weeds. However, the inside portion that he lived in was usually neat and well maintained, though certainly not overly clean or tidy. The remains of the dinner they had indulged in still waited on the nearby kitchen table, various instruments in different states of creation and repair laid haphazardly strewn about, and even this small area where Wataru’s bed rested was a bit disordered and disorganized. Still, it added charm to the place, and the scent of wood and varnish was like an aura around Wataru that was only masked by the rose-scented soaps and shampoos he used. Kengo found himself adoring that strange mix of odors the more time he spent with Wataru.

Cautiously, Kengo moved a hand to hold one of Wataru’s, taking it up into his own as though it were something fragile and delicate. Wataru made no attempt to stop this from happening, instead lacing their fingers together neatly, smiling down at their hands as though they were as precious as the first blossoms of spring.

Wataru’s breath whispered quietly as his eyes fluttered shut, “I really do like you a lot.”

A soft smile pressed against Kengo’s lips as he gave Wataru’s hand a gentle squeeze, “It’s okay to say that you love me, Wataru.”

“Then that’s what I’ll say instead,” Wataru chuckled lightly, pulling his head up to train his eyes on Kengo’s. “I love you, Kengo.” The music playing seemed distant despite the speaker being only a few steps away. To Wataru, it felt like the world was fading out of existence, time stopping to hold those words in the air for as long as possible.

Kengo grinned though his heart fluttered. He hadn’t expected Wataru to actually say that to him, but now that he had, it was exactly what he had hoped for. “I love you, too,” came Kengo’s reply and he paired those words with a swift kiss to Wataru’s cheek. He could have easily erased the distance between them and given Wataru a proper kiss on the lips, but he felt like this was enough. Wataru already knew his fondness for him, after all.

No one had ever given Wataru such a sweet kiss before. It was light like a summer breeze and faded just as quickly, gone to somewhere far away to whisper of the deed done. His eyes grew wide for but a second, only to be swiftly replaced with a gentle gaze meant only for the man who still held his hand so delicately.

The rest of the evening they kept close to each other, sometimes holding hands and sometimes simply sitting or laying next to each other on the bed. When Kengo needed to leave, Wataru found courage enough to kiss his friend on the mouth, which surprised Kengo and left Wataru to smile in a way that promised more when they next saw each other. They still called each other friends, though they were definitely more than friends now. Kengo loved Wataru; Wataru loved Kengo. In the end, it was all either needed to know.


End file.
